I haven’t really used my blog as intended lately. I’m going to start posting my thoughts daily and uploading pictures as of tomorrow. I mean, why not…. Right?

I can not fully elicit how much I absolutely detest generalizations, and stereotypes. They hinder development of the individual along with genuine and pure thoughts. They taint perception and reality.

I don’t know what to think sometimes. I view myself as ugly so often, it’s not healthy, and I can’t help it. I don’t feel beautiful and when I look at other girls I feel inadequate. Not even at prom did I feel happy with my appearance. I need to do something about it.

I don’t know if I should call you crazy and be mad at you, or amazed at how much you care.

Umm, I don’t like you, and you’re kind of upsetting the balance in my life. So, do me a favor and don’t come around, okay? Thanks.

I just want to sleep, eat, blog, and do homework. I also want the good things in between.

Not equally matched and I feel like you’re so much more prettier than I am, and it makes me nervous and I feel like you have the upper hand. And ahh. I hate this feeling because looks aren’t really everything, but they are important and I just feel so inferior and not up to par.

So today marks three weeks of being a vegetarian. Woo! So happy with my decision. On the not so positive end of the spectrum I can physically see myself getting smaller in certain areas, specifically my boobs and glutes. I mean I was feeling pretty happy with my body and finally accepting it and now this is kind of throwing me off, but I guess it’s part of life. Who knows. Maybe if I hit the gym and do some squat? Ehh. I don’t know.

So, today is the awards banquet for JROTC. It’s going to be a good night I think. I’ve enjoyed these three years with the program and I’m eager to see what the fourth year has in store. There are going to be new traditions started this evening and I know that it’s only for the better. It’s hard to fathom all the things I’ve learned and accomplished in these three years. Some good, and some bad, all have made me who I am. I would be a liar if I said the program hasn’t been a big part of my life these three years. It’s almost scary. Anyways, I’m happy with my position, and I’m confident in the people chosen to lead the program.

So tomorrow marks one week without meat. I’m pretty happy so far. I feel normal and functional and alive. Every time I tell people at school they say, “you need meat”, and I’m just like.. Well… Not really. Hopefully I can keep this up. Preparing my meals has been difficult for me, but I’m getting better at it. Life is good, food is good, God is good.